Analects Books 15, 17, 18: Existential Crisis and Clever Flatterers

I was very interested by the opening passage of book fifteen. It said the following, "Like Book Seventeen, this book is a lengthy collection of generally short passages without any clear unifying theme." It's interesting how it isn't expected of the reader to find any sense in the Analects, because there isn't any clear statement that makes sense at first sight. It just makes so much more sense as you read on.



When one arrives at an existential crisis, a main question might be "what now?" What Now? Now that I have asked myself all of the possible questions to why I am here and what I'm doing here and what I'm supposed to do, and I have realized that there is no possible answer that will solve my problems because there is no clear answer that will give me what I want to hear, What Now? Confucius is giving away one answer,
"Is there one word that can serve as a guide for one's entire life?"
The Master answered, "Is it not understanding? Do not impose on others what you yourself desire." (15.24)
So in order for me to be guided my entire life, according to Confucius, all I have to do is understand. Understand. Understand others, he must mean; because if we need guiding then how can we possibly understand ourselves? If we did, we wouldn't be looking for the one word that would guide us our entire lives. Perhaps this is why we search for answers all the time.

We can search for answers through religion, conversations, relationships, our own thoughts, reading every kind of book that exists just to see how the rest of the world thinks, and if I think the same way. Being exposed to so many mysteries and things that we are desperate to answer, makes a mind very curious. I, for example, have arrived at an existential crisis. Or maybe just another teenage phase. Because, really, I am not old enough to know what I'm going to be. Or at least that's what people say. "Don't worry about that, yet." But aren't I "being" right now? I am but I'm also going to be. So many thoughts and questions and answers, my brain hurts.

I would like to touch another subject in The Analects, which I think I was subconsciously looking for was flattering. (This is from Book 16, which we weren't supposed to read, but I did, and I liked it and thought I should write about it.)
Confucius said, "Befriending the upright, those who are true to their word, or those of broad learning–these are beneficial types of friendship. Befriending clever flatterers, skillful dissemblers, or smoothly glib–these are the harmful types of friendship."(16.4)
I wonder if by "clever flatterers", Confucius means butt kissers (AKA: teacher's pet or suck up). Why do you have to be overly nice to people you don't even like just because you think it will be beneficial to you later? Shouldn't you be rewarded for what you truly are and for sincerity rather than for being a suck up and being downright untruthful and selfish? I think it's perfectly fine to be nice to "important" people as long as you're being sincere about it. But if you're being super nice to someone you bumped into in the hallways and as soon as this person leaves you admit you were simply lying for your own benefit, that's wrong. Can't people just be nice to people they like and be normal with people they don't? Society is so artificial. In order to step up the ladder you have to be a fake robot with a cheery personality. So I agree with Confucius, don't befriend an idiot who knows exactly what he's saying and why, befriend those who are "true to their word"!